What, exactly, is the problem with dating someone you work with?
We know people often like to say love sprouts in unlikely places and that those feelings jump on you when you least expect but really, developing feelings for someone you work with is hardly one of those instances.
If people who work together daily and talk to each other for longs hours don’t get feelings for each other, who would they fall for?
Tripping all over someone you work with is not unexpected. Matter of fact, consider it a work hazard. The likelihood of it happening is, in my opinion, kinda higher than it not happening, especially when you work with people in your age bracket.
Logically then, catching feelings for a co-worker is not out-of-place. Considering how people turn up their nose at the prospect though, acting on those feelings and actually pursuing a relationship can well be said to be a different thing entirely.
If we can all agree that it is logical for it to happen, why then is there such a huge frown on dating someone you work with?
We cast this question into a pool of about 300 people and here is the feedback I got:
“So… my thing is as long as it doesn’t affect your job performance and you’re not acting a fool in the office because the oga is piping you or that you’re eating madam’s ass, then do you boo.”
“Personally at some point in my life, I saw it as being cool. If you find someone really attractive and you guys click, it’s okay to start something…
“But dating in the office comes with a lot of ‘what ifs”.’ Imagine your boss screaming at bae in your presence and you can’t do anything about it even after swearing under the duvet in the moment of intense sex or love-making that you are going to be her shield.
“However, it has worked for a lot of people, dating in the office, turning into a blissful marriage while for others it didn’t end well. Right now I don’t think I’ll date anyone in the office because that’s a lot of ‘seeing each other’ every day. Not good for my fragile emotional health.”
“What if it doesn’t work out? We all know how something starts but are never certain of the end. If peradventure, things don’t go as planned, working in the same space with the person will most likely not be cool depending on how things ended (not everyone has the mature streak in them).
“Will both parties be able to drop the relationship and its entitlements at the gate of the office building? Because honestly, they can’t afford to have it affect their duties and responsibilities especially where one is superior to the other. I can’t tell you off at work because of work and then you use it to act out outside of work. It’s too much stress abeg.
“There’s too much competition in offices and at some point, the entitlement feeling comes in.
“On the other hand, it just might work out but that will take extra effort and a whole lot of understanding and communication from both parties. Besides, it’s not like they both will be there forever so yea, it’s not so bad an idea.”
“It’s no big deal … if both are mature about it and they understand that work is work, if they respect the privacy of co-workers.
“But then, only a few are mature enough to can handle this I mean that are matured about it.
“So I think instead of having the drama, society just kinda decided to say it is not allowed.”
“There’s a rule that comes with dating a coworker which is Don’t do it.
“However, it’s easier said than done most especially when your job requires you to spend long hours and tight cubicles with the same person. It can be tempting and can also turn out to be traumatic.
“So, if you’re going to date a coworker, you should think about the aftermath. If there’s a shitty breakup, are you prepared to still see or interact with this person every day?”
“Guy. I tried it. I tried it and it ended in tears. It was shit. You know what they call see finish? Yes. See finish entered my matter. Basically, there was no respect, there was nothing… see it was really bad.
“Really, really bad.”
“Why not? Who else should you fall in love with than someone you see everyday and have likely seen “all” about?
“Emotions (and love) grow for many from constant meeting opportunities like you have in an office…”
“Falling in love with someone you work with is normal, people fall in love in mysterious ways. But most times, it breeds jealousy and for someone like me, I won’t be free. I love my space.
“Office romance is a no no for me. Seeing each other daily can be tiring abeg.”
“I think it becomes too complicated and it throws your relationship off balance to be around your significant other for soooo much every single day.”
“Nothing wrong with it. If they work in two different departments and do not report to each other, it’s fine.
“We spend most of our time with colleagues so this is expected.”